Before the Hurting Ends

I thought it would get easier. You know, the more you do it, the easier it becomes? Like learning how to ride a bike. But it doesn't. I should have learned that by now, but I guess I had been in one place long enough that I actually forgot.

We remember the past and wish we had appreciated the times more, I kinda do. But if I had spent more time focusing on enjoying the time, I would have spent less time actually enjoying it, kind of defeats the purpose.

It's been a week since I've left, almost to the hour. Left my other family, the one I came to know and love through experience and hardship. This one I choose. And this one I choose to leave. Right now it seems like the stupidest decision of my life. Emotions are fickle, I know that, but I still want it all back. Is it a sin to desire the past that badly?

I'm mourning the loss of something I held so dear. And I know that my heart is only ripped as much as HE can mend it back together. But sometimes the tearing hurts so much, I ache for the mending before the pain is over. And then I try and ignore the pain...but that only lasts so long.

I want to be content where I am, I really do. But I don't think I'll get there before the hurting ends.

Heidi and Elliott...the best interns I am sure.
Rachael...best friend and roomate I adore.
Anna...the eldest, we all admire.
Mike... a smile that could start a fire.
Jared, Joel... always up to something.
Jason...processing the reasoning behind that something.
Kyle... the tall gentleman.
Viv and Dustin...the best non-married, non-dating, mom and dad I know.
Kayleen...the woman with a 24/7 glow.
Morgan... the only word that comes to mind is "firecracker"
Travis... the ultimate hockey player.
Chris... you lead when everyone else is lost (literally).
Jeff... live life sarcastically.
Jasper... the first volunteer for everything.
Steve... outdoorsy classy like a mountain-biking king.
Bo... Hairy, gentle and kind
Blake... best storyteller of mankind.
Nathan... a kind face (warning: women may swoon at the piano)
Timo... our strong hispano.
Jeff... character to lighten the mood
Peter... our Dutchman, peaceful and cool
Lance... the silent, but the words are a jewel

Dang Explore, I miss you.